HOW TO MANAGE CRITICISM AND PRAISE
Criticism and Praise are the Same
If you do anything unique, people will attack you for it. Self-
motivation depends on having a thick skin, persisting in spite of
criticism. But equally important is the ability to not let praise
consume you, either. Because, praise and criticism are just reflections
of each other.
In order to properly handle criticism, you also need to properly handle
praise. If someone excessively flatters you for a minor success,
need to internalize it the same way you would internalize a scathing
insult. The person that is easily flattered is also easily criticized.
Ultimately, only you can steer your life. If you allow yourself to be
misled by attacks or flattery, you won’t reach your destination.
The Problem with Praise
If someone congratulates you, by all means, thank them. Enjoy the
fruits of your success. But if you fully embrace every piece of praise
you receive, you open yourself to becoming overconfident.
Additionally, since praise and criticism are equal partners, when you
accept all praise without a thought, you expose yourself to criticism.
Internalizing praise can lower your motivation to work hard just as
much as criticism. While some minor critiques encourage
improvement, excessive flattery promotes laziness. Instead of working
hard to constantly improve, it is just easier to rest and enjoy the
congratulations of people around you.
The ideal state of Criticism and Praise are the Same
If you do anything unique, people will attack you for it. Self-
motivation depends on having a thick skin, persisting in spite of
criticism. But equally important is the ability to not let praise
consume you, either. Because, praise and criticism are just reflections
of each other.
In order to properly handle criticism, you also need to properly handle
praise. If someone excessively flatters you for a minor success, you
need to internalize it the same way you would internalize a scathing
insult. The person that is easily flattered is also easily criticized.
Ultimately, only you can steer your life. If you allow yourself to be
misled by attacks or flattery, you won’t reach your destination.
Do not measure your life by what other people think of you
The solution, both to prevent the excesses of praise and the
humiliation of criticism, is to stop caring what other people think of
you. Take what is actionable from their feedback and ignore the rest.
Since you are the sole captain of your life, don’t allow others to steer
the ship.
If I write an article, I generally receive a mix of positive comments and
negative comments. For criticism, I seek out any actionable
suggestions from their comments. If someone notes that I made a
grammatical mistake in an article, I’ll happily correct it. Or, if
someone feels the logic of my argument was weak, I can make efforts
to correct it in a future discussion of the topic.
For praise, I take a similar approach. I thank the person for their
comment, and see if there is anything actionable from their
suggestion. If several people enjoyed a topic, I’ll know it is something
readers are interested in and worth discussing again.
What I strive not to do, with both praise and criticism, is to let it get
under my skin. If someone writes an attack on my writing, I’ll remind
myself that this comment is just a small pebble on my course, and
not to allow it to derail me. Similarly, if I get a piece of praise, I’ll
remind myself that this is just one view, and not to let it distract me
from the bigger goal.
Start measuring your life by what you think of yourself
Far more important than praise or criticism is what you think of
yourself. I don’t care if I’m receiving thousands of words of praise or
attacks, if I know that what I’m doing doesn’t reflect my true goals or
values, I won’t be happy. Start caring what you think of yourself,
because you are the one that has to look in the mirror each day.
Praise and criticism can’t answer those questions, only you can.
Which is why you need to listen to yourself above everyone else.
Listening to yourself first isn’t arrogant. You are the only person that
intimately understands your goals and values. You are the one who
set the goals in the first place. So, how can you expect other people,
with different motives, to give you the ideal feedback to move
forward?
Other people can offer great advice. But the emotional impact of
praise and criticism should come from yourself. Other people can offer
actionable suggestions, but they can’t be the judge of your self-worth.
Humble Confidence
The ideal state of mind is humble confidence.
You are humble,
because you accept all feedback, searching for actionable
suggestions, open to any opportunity. You are confident because you
won’t allow emotional praise or criticism to distract you from your
goals.
In practice, it is impossible to maintain this state perfectly. I’m
human like everyone else, so when I am insulted, I’ll feel bad about
that. When I’m praised, I’ll feel happy. Those instincts won’t go away.
However, if you accept those first impressions, but don’t let them
gnaw at your conscious self-image, you’ve succeeded. You can feel
hurt from an insult, but you can evaluate the attack afterward and
prevent it from wounding you. This is similar to the Stoic idea that
nothing is good or bad, except in the mind. You may be forced to
have a first impression from criticism or flattery, but you can then re-
evaluate that so it doesn’t distract you from your goals.
If people praise you, thank them and focus on your goal. If people
criticize you, thank them and focus on your goal. Because, in the end,
your the one who has to judge yourself and live with it.mind is humble confidence. You are humble,
because you accept all feedback, searching for actionable
suggestions, open to any opportunity. You are confident because you
won’t allow emotional praise or criticism to distract you from your
goals.
If people praise you, thank them and focus on your goal. If people
criticize you, thank them and focus on your goal. Because, in the end,
your the one who has to judge yourself and live with it.
IN SUMMARY YOU SHOULD:
♦ Learn not to allow criticism and praise weaken your positive mindset.
♦Know that praise and criticism can cause your downfall.
♦Understand that whatever you do people will talk about you.
♦Know that your reaction to praise or criticism matters most.
♦Not give much attention to what people think about you.
♦Build your selfworth and confidence .
♦Not compare your accheivement and potentials to those of others.
♥ What do you really think about praise and criticism?
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